Opelousas Senator Elbert Guillory opposes a bill that would expand Louisiana’s ban on cockfighting.
“Senator Guillory explained that the chickens can engage in their sport without hurting each other,” Colbert said. “They put little boxing gloves on and fight in rounds so they can get water and cool off. So if they’re hot they get water and if they’re losing they get olive oil, salt and pepper and a squeeze of lemon.”
Before New Orleans Senator JP Morrell’s bill came up on the Senate floor, Guillory released a list of chicken boxing rules to illustrate that the sport was perfectly safe.
Colbert read the rules with a touch of sarcasm.
“Chicken boxing has strict rules like each combatant has to wear standard foul safety boxing gear,” Colbert said. “Just check the poultry counter at your local Sports Authority.”
Colbert said that, sadly, the state Senate ended up agreeing with Morrell’s bill that would close certain loopholes in cockfighting laws.
But the comedian who was recently named the successor to David Letterman, says he commends Senator Guillory for trying to keep big government out of our chicken sporting events.
“What’s next no more poultry jousting? You tell me Louisiana Senate! What manner of chicken combat shall your law allow? Just tell us the way we can have chickens attack each other for our amusement and we will do it,” exclaimed Colbert.